It’s the hap-happiest season of all. The most wonderful time of the year.  Except when it’s not. And then, it might very well be the worst. For the homeless, Christmas can be a shiny, tinseled, multi-colored spotlight on everything that’s missing from their lives – family, friends, security, warmth, a home.

“I remember the exact point when I was all alone – just before Christmas, huddled up on the floor of my van, shivering, crying. I thought, No one knows I’m here. No one cares. Not only do they not care, they hate me. I wished I was dead. It was the lowest of lows. I can taste it even now.” – Eddie

“My loneliness was at its peak during the holiday season. I got divorced in September. Then the holidays hit. I didn’t want to remember the good times – all family-oriented, loving on each other. I would rather be high and drunk than deal with anybody.” – Steve

“I came into the Mission on November 12 of last year and hid in a corner. I was embarrassed to be here.” – Dean

“God makes a home for the lonely” – Psalm 68:6.

In 2008, at about the same time the economy crashed, so did John Moore’s life. From September to December, his wife left him, he was diagnosed with stomach cancer, he lost his job, and his mom died. A series of events from which he did not quickly recover.

Earlier this year, John used the last of his unemployment income to pay for a bus ticket to Spokane – thinking he had a job waiting when he got here. A fresh start. But when he arrived, the job was gone. “I was like out on the street, nowhere to go. I had no family, nobody I could run to or anything like that. The first night . . . I was laying there on the street with my head on my bag, that’s all I had. I was feeling really, really down and depressed.”

The next day, John went into a downtown convenience store. The cashier asked him how he was doing, and though he’s not sure why now, John answered honestly, “Not very good.” He explained his situation, and the cashier, who seemed genuinely interested, said she knew a place where he could go – the Union Gospel Mission. She even offered to drive him.

Entering the Mission

It was not love at first sight for John. “I came through the east door, and I was scared. I didn’t know what to expect, what kind of people were here. So I just isolated myself – stayed back in the corner or tried to stay outside as much as I could. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, and I could hardly eat.”

But, gradually, the Mission environment grew on him. He took a risk and started talking to some of the men. Bit by bit, he opened up a little more. He joined the program and began building relationships with the staff.

“There is a sense of family here. Some of these guys aren’t just like friends; some of them feel like brothers to me. And, the staff . . . I never had people care like they care.”

John said he actually looks forward to spending Christmas at the Mission. “This is where I’m supposed to be. This is where God put me to go through this program and find Him and Jesus again, so I can move forward and live a better life.

“I just get chills sometimes thinking of where I could be, out on the streets, nowhere to go, nobody that cares. . . It’s just a Godsend to be here.”