Two years ago, Ruby’s life was out of control.  An alcoholic, she was hanging out with all the wrong people and realized she had no idea how to raise her four-year-old son, Hunter.  In an attempt to give him what she knew he needed – a stable, safe, loving home – she sent him to live with her sister for two years.  “I hated being separated from him,” Ruby said, “but I wasn’t strong enough to do right by him.”

Then, in January, Ruby joined the Women’s Recovery Program.  Clean, sober and with healing taking place in her own life, Ruby began to believe she could be the mother Hunter needed.  In June, he joined her at Anna Ogden Hall.

Children’s program coordinator, Rachel Patton, said she has never seen a mom more eager to learn parenting skills than Ruby:  “The heart of wanting the best for her child is there.  We’re providing the how.”  And Ruby is soaking up the “how.”  She has taken the Love & Logic class and plans to take it again.  She meets with Rachel and her counselor on a regular basis, discusses where she and Hunter are struggling and takes notes so that she can refer back to them later.

“I was very excited to get Hunter back into my life while I was at Ogden because of the support and the help I’m getting,” Ruby said.  “When I leave – after I graduate – I will have a lot better skills and ability to parent him.”

One of the skills Ruby and Hunter are learning right alongside each other is how to turn their emotions into words – how to identify what they’re feeling, put a name on it, and then have the courage to communicate what’s inside them in a way that helps other people understand.

Another challenging area for Ruby is discipline. She has discovered that talking over situations with Rachel and coming up with a plan in advance helps. For example, Hunter was consistently having trouble sitting still in the dining hall.  Now, Ruby gives Hunter a choice:  Do you want to calm down and eat here with everyone else or would you like to take some time to calm down in our room?

Providing lots of opportunities for active fun is another part of the solution.  “There’s a time and place to yell super loud, to wrestle, to go crazy,” Rachel said, and she knows that staying at a shelter – in a room with your mom – can seem pretty confining, so she works hard to make sure the kids staying at Anna Ogden Hall have lots of chances for active recreation – swimming, hiking, biking, rock climbing, and more.  The day Ruby and Hunter had their picture taken for this article they were at Tshimakain Creek Camp, and Hunter was having the time of his life exploring, swimming, fishing and doing crafts.     

Day by day, step by step, Ruby and Hunter are forging a new relationship and Ruby is becoming the mother she longs to be:  “I absolutely adore that boy.  He’s the love of my life.”